Dear Elliot,
Hey you old son of a bitch! Nice going! My wife finally performed oral on me, first time since my scandal went down. If it weren't for you, my blowjob days would have been a thing of the past. I guess I shouldn't be telling you that, but I hope you know your in for more than just everybody on the planet thinking you are the scum of society. Yeah, hate to tell you but your wife won't be playing tonsil cocky with your nads for a good amount of years. You might even want to save that number of that whore you were messing around with, because she's the only one that is going to want to see Elliot Jr. for the years to come.
At this moment, the shame should be sitting in. Yeah, I remember the feeling. Buying sluts seemed like the perfect situation huh? All the girl wanted was some free riding cash, give your little politician a whirl and then be done with you. I guess we both forgot the legal side of all of it.
Well I'm off for a vacation. Hopefully when I come home we can sit down and talk about all of this. Maybe even arrange a service or two, I'm just kidding you ole piece of shit, wouldn't do that to you. Anyway, the first two weeks are the worst. By the third you should be back on the wagon, and dialing for pussy again!!
Give em hell,
Rev Swaggart
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