Good Afternoon Peasants,
In this weeks eddition, I would love to stir up the pot and talk about a subject that is very dear to Maldwyn. This comes on the heels after one of the biggest scandals in recent years in politics. I’m talking about Elliot Spitzer. The poor fella who got his hand caught in the cookie jar. I do not know the man personally, but we have met on occasion at certain dinner parties most of you would never be invited to attend.
This leads me to speak on the issue of prostitution in America. Yes, there are many cases of child, under 18 prostitution in America and in those cases I am disgusted and think the bastards that get caught for that should be thrown in prison!!
But let's look at what being an adult entitles us to:
1. The right to vote!!- This is one of the most important American rights. It is what makes us American. We are competent to pick an elected official no matter how dumb or smart, vote to who’s taxed more or less, but hey the list can go on forever. These rights basically say at 18 you are smart enough to make the most important decisions that pertain to Americas well being as a nation!!! So, this is one part of allowing someone that's 18 to make their own decisions.
2. The right to fight for our great country. This means you can put
yourself at risk of getting killed in Afghanistan, Iraq, the Korean
Border, the Persian Gulf or any areas around the globe that America
has its armed forces. Seems like those are pretty important decisions
for a person that is 18 yrs old or older to make.
3. The right to buy firearms at age 18, not pistols, but rifles and
shotguns of any kind. From a gorgeous hand engraved pirdy shotgun,
like I own, to a crude browning like you may have in your closet. But
nonetheless you can still buy a gun that will kill someone...
4. A woman’s right to get an abortion without parental consent. Enough
said and personally I'm a big fan because ole Maldwyn has crushed a broad or two. But none paid for, I get enough debutantes that want to ride American royalty!!
5. You are considered an adult in the court of law. This means you
break some bullshit law which in turns leads you to be some big black guys bed mate.
So, basically at the age of 18 in America, you are in all aspects of
life an adult with all of the misery and privileges it provides. (But
you still can't purchase a glass of wine!! Fucking explain that to me
and I will give you $1,000,000. Seriously)
But that's a different topic we will go over at a different time.
This privilege of being 18 and making personal decisions on our own
is as American as apple pie. So my question is if a woman wants to spread her legs for $5000 an hour when another woman will spread her legs for three shots at some bar in Manhattan, why the hell does the US government have the right to restrict American's access to a man or woman’s holes? This is something that has been going on since the beginning of time and criminalizing it only makes society hide it in the corners of American society. Look at countries that have legalized prostitution. The rates of infection among the prostitutes and those that use prostitutes becomes almost nonexistent. (It reminds me of the argument some
religious groups have against distributing condoms to Africans to help fight aids. The religious groups say no to condoms because these people
should be abstinent, how many millions more will die with this
uneducated and reckless thinking?) Nevertheless, the legalization of
prostitution is not going to bring an end to society as we know it or
bring on Armageddon. It will just let those people in the world get
laid whenever they want. Tell me what’s wrong with that? For the prostitutes, this will take them out of such an awful shadow of society and maybe boost them out if society's gutters. But in closing, this isn't a bad deal for the prostitutes because "they own the product, they sell it, and they still own it!" At the end if the day they have the same cash or more cash than the girl that blew some upper east side stockbroker over the sesame chicken at PF Changs. Ugh, chains!
Stop being ridiculous,
Maldwyn Rochefeller IV
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